Several students have boyfriends or girlfriends, and their motives behind why they do are versatile. Some may date because they’re getting to know someone that’s attractive. Others may date to try and figure out who will be the person they will be with forever. No matter whether the reason as to why you’re in a relationship, there are certain things that work in a relationship and certain things that don’t.

One crucial thing in a relationship is to be honest. A good portion of marriages that end in divorce are caused by lack of communication and inability for the spouses to be themselves. So many times people try to put a front for the person they love, hoping that they will be accepted and the boyfriend or girlfriend will love the person they’re trying to be rather than the person they are. Don’t do that guys. If you can’t be who you are around them, how are you expected to spend the rest of your life with them? If they don’t like who you really are, you can either let them go or you two can try to fix the problems and make it work. Besides, if the person really loves you, they’ll be glad that you shared that with them.

I think a healthy relationship needs to have fun. That’s fairly easy to do the first few months or year that you’re together with someone, but you need to have fun even when you feel like the “spark has faded.” There will be rare times when I will see a fun happy old couple just playing as if they’re in their twenties, and that gives me so much joy and motivation. For a relationship to last forever, you need to let go of being a grown up for a few seconds and just be kids together. Personally, I would love to do fun adventurous things with my future husband, like surfing, running, or playing in the rain. But for you, having fun could be watching a movie, playing a competitive video game, or maybe driving on a dirt road. Whatever it is, you two need to make sure that you have time set aside to just be kids and have fun together, no matter how old you are.

Finally, I believe a relationship works if you two are best friends. You know that saying, “best friends for life?” You need to be like that with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It really sets up a perfect foundation and makes it so much easier to communicate, be yourself, and have fun. If you’re best friends, it basically lays the foundation for the relationship at hand. You already know a good portion of who they are, you know what they like and what they don’t like, and you can tell each other anything. Having those fundamentals with you both already basically takes the actual dating bit up to the next level. So just remember to love each other unconditionally and to communicate at all times.

15rarthur@usd489.com